Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
