I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
