I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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