My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
