Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
