I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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