I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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