ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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