Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I supernannyed him into submission
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
