the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
