One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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