sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Girls should come with a carfax report
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
