what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
