Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
