now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
