Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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