I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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