i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
