you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
