the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
