Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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