On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
