why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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