I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
