White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
