I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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