yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
