Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
