did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
