I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
