someone get that fucking seahorse.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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