The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
