He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
