weddingsv make me drug and hornr
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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