I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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