Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
