Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
