Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
