I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
