I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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