Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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