To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
