in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
