Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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