Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
