i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
