She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
