I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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