at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my being single is dangerous.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I FOUND THE LEGS
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
