he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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