I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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