i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
